The Detours of Relationships

This morning a funny thing dawned on me. I reflected on relationships, as I often do, because nothing is more inspiring to me than relationships. I remembered someone telling me that there are two types of attraction: opposites and similarities. I belong to the latter category and if you don't, this post might be not interesting for you. Maybe it's because I often felt like an oddball that finfing someone who is just like me is absolutely exciting. I wallow in the pleasure of sharing similar thoughts with someone, acting the same, even dicovering the same unconventional idiosycracies is like finding hidden treasures.

Obviously it's easy for me to fall in love with a person who is more or less me. And when I come across different oppinions and other points of view in that person I feel estranged at first. My core beliefs are challenged, which I welcome of course as this is the seed for growth. But this is not the topic of today's post. This morning I realized how paradoxical it is that I am totally capable to love all the things that resemble me unconditionally, provided they greet me in another person's body, while I still jump through a bunch of loops in order to be loved and accepted.

This sounds more drastic as it is. But aren't we all trained to care more about how we feel that anyone else is very egoistic and selfish? I came a long way to learn how to listen to my needs ad feelings and to value them more than anything that is expected if me. But the irony in all this setup never hit me as clearly before as this morning.

What it boils down to is that we (the ones who seek the opposites in others feel free to regard yourself as excluded) are convinced that all what we are is loveable and adorable, as long as we see it in others, while we are depending on others to love us and thus confirm that we are the most wonderful person on earth. Why the detour? Why not accepting the fact that we are gorgeous, beautiful beings as a given and then start loving other people for what they really are and not only the comon denominatornthat we share?

I know society doesn't train us to walk around with the belief that we are magnificent. But we are. Everyone of us.

Precious Little Moments

Yesterday I had a silly thought. I was in the bathroom busy with my morning routine, lotioning my arms. I felt a wee bit rushed, my mind swirling with all the things I wanted to do, excited about all the opportunities and the creative projects I wanted to tackle this day. The lotioning was like a chore I needed to get done. And the skin almost seemed to drag its feet sucking in the lotion slower than necessary. Then suddenly I stopped in my tracks pondering. To me this might be just a tiresome skin care duty, but to my arms these minutes could be the highlight of their day. When else would they get so much attention and affection? Something in me shifted as I observed this moment from the perspective of my arms. I suddenly felt peace and appreciation, since they never let me down all day, although they only get this small amount of pampering.

This must have stirred something in me, because I experienced a similar shift at work. My desk was filled with things that needed to be done before the holidays, so I felt pressed for time when I answered the phone in order to deal with a customer's accountant. She needed an invoice to be spiced with a certain reference number in order to transfer the money. (Did I mention before that bookkeeping is a total bore and nuisance in my eyes.) She was from Rumania and had a hard time expressing herself in my language. It took a while until she could communicate her request and I detected a slight feeling of annoyance in me. Why would a company in my own country hire someone who is lacking in communication skills. I was holding out of course, because the thought of my own company receiving the money for my work's efforts is a quite satisfying one.

And then that shift happened again. Maybe to me this was an irksome moment, but to her it might be a very brave deed, exposing herself to this task in a foreign language. From my perspective she was butchering it, but from her point of view she was possibly doing quite well given the circumstances. How courageous to take up a job that would force you to grow and expand beyond your comfort zone. I felt so much appreciation and admiration for her, that I was able to resolve this issue with a lot of patience and nice words for her.

I know that everyone experience their reality based on their own perception. So this might not have done anything to that woman, or my arms for that matter. But it changed something in me. I was able to devote myself fully to the situation at hand, and my emotions were instantly uplifted.

Spirals and infinities are circling possibilities

Opportunities revolving and life evolving

Out on the edges it might heavily shake you

Jump right into the middle and it'll awake you

Little notes from the Universe

Obviously the universe is sending out quirky hints to let me know that something is on its way. In this case that something being the desired camera.

I was in Merryland again and it so happened that the Knittee had to be at his club for a practice appointment, but his partner was completely under the weather and therefore couldn't play. Coincidentally a guy walked in, who had never been there before, and got introduced to the Knittee by one of the employees. The employee who does all the photo artwork for the club btw, and who uses a 5D, the bigger brother of my dream camera. So this new "member" played several games with the Knittee. During our conversation we found out, that he is a professional photographer and he recommended the 7D to me. But he also said, that it's really the eye and not the equipment, that makes a good photographer. I thought that was very encouraging, not having any educated skills on that field. Was this a sign?

Obviously the universe was trying to convey something to my death ears, so it pushed the message through a little harder. When I packed my bags the Knittee saw the boarding pass for my first flight, that I was about to throw away. The seat number was ...... well as you can guess now ..... 7D.

I had totally overlooked the fact, being too busy with taking pictures on that flight. What an irony. Of course I kept it and put it into my magical box. Oh, you don't know about the magical box yet. But this is another story for another post.

Actually, Life Is Quite Simple

Yesterday it dawned upon me that life isn't that complicated at all. I realised that there is in fact only one relation - the one between me and my inner being. If this relation is harmonious, all other relations will be a blissful experience.

Consequently there is only one issue - a misalignment between you and your inner inner being. All issues that might occur are mere adventures and interesting incidents, when one is in alignment with the inner being.

And now comes the best part. There is only one purpose in life - to feel good. If one feels good, nothing else matters.

The only question is, if being in alignment with oneself is the journey. For a long time I thought it was - back when I thought being in alignment would be the purpose. But maybe it's just the vehicle, and instead of starting out for an exciting adventure I keep busying myself with polishing the fenders.

What if I just act as if I had already achieved the perfect harmony with myself? Wouldn't this open up new paths to before unimaginable horizons.

Maybe the immaculate sheen of my vehicle's finish is not that important. Maybe it's time to jump in, start the engine, and step on the accelerator. NOW !

Answer From The Universe

Yesterday it happened again. I had a strong desire and the universe took immedate action. Lately the knittee is very busy researching technical details on cameras and he told me about this very tempting one that soon became an object of my desire. Of course it comes with a correspongingly imppressive price tag. But knowing that the "how" is not my job, cause it will be taken care of by the universe, while I need to concentrate on my wish and the allowance part, I printed out the image of the said camera to stick it onto my vision board.

My next move was submitting pictures to a photography contest. At least that was my intention. But I stumbled upon a category that I had neglected before. It came with an entry fee, and so I had excluded it from my mind. Also because the prize was a camera, and at that point of my journey I was focused on additional sources of income in order to finance the frequent journeys between two continents. Wait a second...... the prize was a camera? Yes, you are right. A camera. THE very camera I am desiring. What a prompt reply of the universe.

Needless to say that I sorted through my pictures the same evening and entered this category just now. They asked for a body of work comprised of 10 pictures. I've seen very stunning images so far, and a video interview with the jurors, in which they offer their recommendations for every applicant. Some statements were disheartening, while others stated the total opposite. So I followed my heart and focused on those that would encourage everyone who felt the call to participate.

In my selection I concentrated on the theme that allways makes me forget the time. The beauty of flowers. I am a very intuitive photographer, I follow my whims and inner voice. I opened my files and exposed the pictures that are closest to my heart. So it's up to the universe now to decide, if this camera is an important step on my journey. Although I know that the universe does not need any assistance in order to fulfill a wish, a bit of cooperation on my part doesn't hurt either. ;-))).

The Heart Of Life

At the moment my mom isn't doing that well. And as I felt a bit overwhelmed I had this idea to metally visit a happy place. What immediately came to my mind was the picture I took on one of my outings with the knittee. He has this new habit of shooting videos of the sky being visible through the trees. I cannot even tell anymore who noticed first, that this particular opening looked like the shape of a heart. I thought this was very soothing as I envisioned myself being in the center of the heart - awhich was in this situation very appropriate, as my mother has a heart condition.

Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood

But I know the heart of life is good

John Mayer

Human Beings

This morning I listened to the ramblings of my mind. Mostly it's a lot of clatter, but this morning something shifted and I stumbled across a puzzle I found worth remembering. I mused about all the things most people strive for: happiness, love, health, wealth ... Suddenly it struck me as an odd paradox, that we would make a lot of effort to get all these things, while language wisely states that they are not to be gained by activity. It does not say "make happy", "do healthy", "make wealth" - admittedly the phrase "make love" is correct as well, but what most of us seek is to BE in love, to BE happy, to BE healthy, to BE rich.

We are human beings and not human doings. What an irony that the things we would be willing to invest a lot of power in order to get them, are only to be received. We have to allow them into our world, to invite them into our life.

And although this makes perfect sense, it sometimes is very hard to do - or should I say NOT to do. ;-))))