Some Insight

I learned a lot from pain in my life. But this month I took a lot of benefit of my delightful trip to Amsterdam. Today it crossed my mind that what I believed in theory is really true. One can learn from joy as well.

I think I will take that road more often in the future. Wanna join me?

"If there's hell on earth, there must be heaven, too"
(Crowded House)

Mind Sugar

Last week I had another brainwave. I have to go back a bit in order to make it at least a bit comprehensible. Sometimes we get hit by the light while our revolutionary ideas would not change other people's life at all. Although we think we just hit pay dirt. LOL

When I grew up I had a sweet tooth. I was addicted to chocolate for a very long time, but any other candy would do as a substitute. Ice cream was an all time favorite, then again there are hardly any sweets I didn't like except maybe liquorice. But this word contains the word liquor, which I never liked either. Maybe that's why? OK. I am getting silly now. Suffice it to say that I had this habit and I managed to get away from it. Nowadays I don't even crave for sweets and even the scent of chocolate can make me feel sick sometimes. What I gained was a new sensitivity of my taste buds. To me so many things taste sweet and I never use salt or any other spices because they just tamper with the real thing. And I am not only talking about fruit here. A tomato can be sweeter than a cherry pie. Even endive has a sugary quality about it.

So there is no sugar in my food anymore. At least not that I know of. But sometimes I grab the wrong things from the shelve. That's what happened in Amsterdam. I wanted to shop plain biological yoghurt and when I opened it up and licked the stuff from the lid I tasted: SUGAR. Biological non-refined sugar, but nonetheless sugar. I was tempted for a moment and the thought of "just this once" crossed my mind. But then I threw it all away. This would have been like the first glass to an alcohol addict. And what for? It didn't even taste excellent.

Last week I was hunted by unhappy and totally superfluous thoughts. An issue so unimportant that I cannot even remember what it was all about, but it made me feel miserable. Suddenly I had the image of me throwing away the Vanilla yoghurt I mistook for a plain one. And then it hit me. These thought were just like sugar to my mind. I had not problems throwing away the yoghurt, why not treat thoughts like this the same way. They are just as unhealthy for my system as the sugar. So I will refuse to have them in my sytem any longer. And it works, folks. At least as long as I can think of the image again. Then I don't have any problems to trash whatever is bothering me.

Isn't it funny how the meaning of some "stupid mistakes" like picking the wrong can of yoghurt get revealed to us one week later ;-))). So lets trust all of our errors make sense on a larger scale.

Mission Accomplished

I have been to Amsterdam with my parents for a weak. I figured it would be wise to cherish the time with them while they are still with me in this life instead of being full of regret once they have both moved on. So we picked Amsterdam as a nice spot for a holiday week.

This place is awesome. There is so much to admire and see. So we all had a wonderful time there.

Usually I have to get used to being on a tour with others since in my usual single life there are only rare occasions for delay. If I plan to go out, I grab my purse and shoes and off I am. With the three of us that was a whole different story. You always hang behind because one still has to pay a visit to the bathroom while the other one just needs to comb some hair. Then the next one decides to switch shoes due to the weather. In the meantime the one that has been ready to go from the first moment on decides to go to the bathroom just as a precautionary measure (of course that would be me LOL). So the time it takes to finally get going is stretched out a bit compared to when I am on my own.


While this tends to be a challenge to my patience in my average life I was in a totally different state of mind this week. I was just happy to be with my parents. What did it matter if I had to wait for them to get ready when the whole idea was not getting to some nice tourist attraction but simply being with them? I was pleased as Punch to have them around. The nice outings were just some adornment. So I discovered myself to be in the here and now totally. In fully acceptance of the situation we would find. Even if this meant a waiter was taking too long so that our hot drinks would be only lukewarm by the time they had arrived. I sensed my dad's anger about it, but I could leave that with him. I didn't need to take over and change the situation - or him and his emotions - in order to feel comfortable myself.

Back in my hometown I fell back into my old rut and got nervous when things didn't present themselves in a way I would have expected. I longed for my relaxed state of mind but did not know how to get there. Until it finally struck me. Maybe my purpose on earth is to spend this life relishing the company of myself rather than doing this or planing that. While I toyed with this idea I found that there was much comfort to be found. I don't have to "get" anywhere, because I already achieved my goal. I am with me. No need to fuss about anything else.

Mission accomplished !