The Detours of Relationships

This morning a funny thing dawned on me. I reflected on relationships, as I often do, because nothing is more inspiring to me than relationships. I remembered someone telling me that there are two types of attraction: opposites and similarities. I belong to the latter category and if you don't, this post might be not interesting for you. Maybe it's because I often felt like an oddball that finfing someone who is just like me is absolutely exciting. I wallow in the pleasure of sharing similar thoughts with someone, acting the same, even dicovering the same unconventional idiosycracies is like finding hidden treasures.

Obviously it's easy for me to fall in love with a person who is more or less me. And when I come across different oppinions and other points of view in that person I feel estranged at first. My core beliefs are challenged, which I welcome of course as this is the seed for growth. But this is not the topic of today's post. This morning I realized how paradoxical it is that I am totally capable to love all the things that resemble me unconditionally, provided they greet me in another person's body, while I still jump through a bunch of loops in order to be loved and accepted.

This sounds more drastic as it is. But aren't we all trained to care more about how we feel that anyone else is very egoistic and selfish? I came a long way to learn how to listen to my needs ad feelings and to value them more than anything that is expected if me. But the irony in all this setup never hit me as clearly before as this morning.

What it boils down to is that we (the ones who seek the opposites in others feel free to regard yourself as excluded) are convinced that all what we are is loveable and adorable, as long as we see it in others, while we are depending on others to love us and thus confirm that we are the most wonderful person on earth. Why the detour? Why not accepting the fact that we are gorgeous, beautiful beings as a given and then start loving other people for what they really are and not only the comon denominatornthat we share?

I know society doesn't train us to walk around with the belief that we are magnificent. But we are. Everyone of us.